We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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