we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
