I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You dont lie about slip and slides
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
