just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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