That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
