you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
