How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
His hands were made for my vagina.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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