i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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