I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
