Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize