How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
