They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
