I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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