You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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