dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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