You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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