You work out of a Hotel?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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