no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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