your thong is hanging out like whoa
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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