Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
