He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
