Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She's the barista slut.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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