FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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