Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
