Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
