It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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