: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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