DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize