Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize