i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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