sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
