Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize