So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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