i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
