Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
