My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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