But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so let's talk penis.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
