you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
