I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
