You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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