mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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