No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.