Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!