there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Actions speak louder than pants.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
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I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
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I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.