We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
