Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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