is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
