He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
