dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
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