I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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