my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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