We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
