your parents love me but you hate me
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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