He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
