I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
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U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
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That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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