so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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