If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
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No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
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Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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