??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
