Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Randomize
