u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
