How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
