Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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