you would pick up someone in the library
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
